You know what time you’re due at Mum’s on Christmas Day. You know who’s bringing the pavlova and which bottle you’ve promised to take. But when was the last time you put something in the December calendar just because you wanted an evening with your partner?
Give the two of you a night to look forward to. Make the invitation specific: “Keep Friday free. I’ll pick up dinner from that Thai place we used to go to. Your only job is to choose the music.” It’s much easier to get excited about that than another promise to go out when things calm down.
The best Christmas date night ideas start with what you miss doing together. Maybe you miss talking long after dinner. Maybe you’d love to flirt again without someone interrupting to ask where the sticky tape went. Or perhaps you’ve both had a huge year and an hour on the verandah with cold drinks sounds about right.
Here are nine ways to make a night at home feel like a date. Pick one that sounds like you. If you’ve got a whole evening, pair it with another and see where the night goes.
1. Meet on the verandah for a Christmas picnic
If you’ve eaten dinner on the couch all week, moving a few metres can change how the evening feels. Spread a blanket on the verandah, take two cushions out to the balcony or claim a patch of backyard once the sun goes down. If summer storms roll in, the lounge room floor beside the Christmas tree works just as well.
Build dinner around three things: something you both love, something you haven’t tried and something sweet. That might be a loaf from your local bakery, a cheese you’ve been eyeing and a bag of cherries. Fish and chips straight from the paper is equally good, especially if neither of you wants a kitchen full of dishes.
Give your partner a reason to linger after the food is gone. Bring out two icy poles you used to buy as kids and let each person guess the other’s favourite. Or tuck an old photo under their plate. Once you’re arguing cheerfully about whose idea that disastrous camping trip was, Christmas lunch plans can wait.
2. Recreate your first date, right down to the awkward bit
What do you actually remember about your first date? It might be the burger place, the shirt your partner wore or the fact that someone confidently walked up to the wrong car afterwards. Those are the details to borrow.
If you met for coffee, turn your kitchen into a little after-hours café. Write your partner’s order on a scrap of paper and deliberately get their name wrong on the cup. If your first date was at the cinema, find the same film, make popcorn and create two handwritten tickets. Put the time on them so one of you gets to knock on the lounge room door and ask, “Ready to go?”
The fun is finding out which bits each of you kept. Over dinner, ask, “What did you tell your mates about me the next day?” Even if you’ve been together for years, you may never have heard that half of the story.
If this is your first Christmas as a couple, try the reverse. Each of you brings one thing that used to make Christmas feel special growing up. You might end up eating mango cheeks over the sink while your partner teaches you the rules of a fiercely competitive family card game. That’s a perfectly good start to your own tradition.
3. Make each other a three-song Christmas present
A playlist gets interesting when you know why someone chose the songs. Before your date, each of you picks three:
- A song that takes you back to when you first met.
- A song that reminds you of one good day from this year.
- A song you want to dance to together, even if it’s only in the kitchen.
Take turns playing yours. Let your partner guess the memory before you explain it. That completely ordinary song from the radio might mean nothing to anyone else. To you, it’s the drive home from the coast with wet towels on the back seat and nowhere you had to be.
Save all six tracks under a name you’ll recognise next December. If you do this again next year, you’ll have something better than a list of popular songs. You’ll have a record of what the two of you were listening to and the days you wanted to keep.
4. Open a private present after the family gift swap
There’s a time for opening presents in front of the family. There’s also a time for an envelope marked “For you, later.” If you’d like to give your partner something intimate, let them open it when it’s just the two of you and they can tell you what they think without an audience.
A handwritten invitation is a good choice if you’re unsure what they’d enjoy. Write two options on a card: “A candlelit massage with your favourite album, or dessert in bed with that terrible film you love. You pick.” Be prepared to watch the terrible film. Giving them a real choice is half the charm.
If you’ve already talked about buying a couples’ toy, the gift can be choosing it together. Put your budget in the card, settle down with dessert and browse Wild Fantasy Australia side by side. Your partner gets a say in what you buy, and you get to find out what caught their eye. There’s no need to turn Christmas night into a deadline to try it.
5. Give your partner the massage they’d actually ask for
You might picture scented candles and soft music. Your partner might picture five quiet minutes while somebody rubs the hand they’ve used to wrap twenty presents. Start there. Ask, “Shoulders, hands or feet?” It’s a small question, but it means you’re giving them something they want.
Set up before you offer. Put a towel within reach, make some room on the couch and let your partner choose the music. Once you start, a simple “Lighter or firmer?” is more useful than trying to guess. And if they’re happy to sit there until the end of the song, let that be the whole plan.
For someone who enjoys a scented candle, the Petits Joujoux A Trip to London Massage Candle gives you a gift and a date idea in one. The 190 ml candle melts into massage oil made with jojoba oil and shea butter, and the container has a pouring spout. Follow the pack directions and check the temperature before the oil touches skin.
On a warm December night, you may prefer to skip the candle. Kama Sutra Naturals Massage Oil is another option, with scents such as Strawberry and Vanilla Sandalwood listed by Wild Fantasy. If you’re choosing it as a present, think about scents your partner already enjoys. Someone who quietly moves every scented candle out of the bedroom has probably given you your answer.
6. Play a couples’ game where you can both pass
If your conversations lately have been mostly about shopping lists and whose turn it is to drive, give yourselves a more interesting opening line. Write a few questions on folded slips of paper and put them in a bowl. Take turns drawing one over dinner.
Try “When did I make you blush this year?”, “Which outfit of mine would you pick for our next date?” or “What would we do with a whole day together in January?” Throw in a silly one, too. Finding out which of you would last longer working a department store Santa photo booth might lead to the best conversation of the night.
For a more intimate option, SEX! A Year of Sex Card Game has 54 illustrated positions with instructions and intensity ratings. If it’s something you’re both curious about, look through a few cards together and set aside the ones you both like. Either of you can pass on a card without explaining why. You can also save a favourite for another night.
7. Turn the last of the Christmas dessert into a tasting for two
This one is for the night after you’ve hosted, when there’s a little of everything in the fridge and neither of you can face another full meal. Clear one end of the table and make two small tasting plates. A sliver of pudding, a spoonful of trifle and a few cherries are plenty.
Give each other the job of naming the winners. Which dessert would you happily have for breakfast? Which one tastes most like childhood Christmas? Which would cause an uproar if you left it off next year’s menu? If your family is fiercely loyal to one recipe, you may want to keep the results between yourselves.
There’s also a practical bit of romance here: if your partner cooked Christmas lunch, you put the plates together, make the drinks and take care of the washing-up. Being handed a spoon and told “I’ve got the kitchen tonight” might be their favourite present of the week.
8. Keep the date if you’re spending Christmas apart
If you’re visiting different families or one of you is working over Christmas, plan around the time you actually have together. Twenty minutes when you both have some privacy beats a long video call spent saying, “Hang on, someone’s at the door.”
Give the call a small occasion of its own. Buy the same dessert, make iced coffees or agree to wear the most questionable Christmas shirt you can find. Each of you can bring one photo from the day and tell the story behind it. You’ll hear more from “Why is your dad holding a beach umbrella over the barbecue?” than from “So, how was lunch?”
If your schedules don’t line up at all, send a voice note your partner can open in private. Tell them one thing you’ve missed about them and one thing you’ve planned for when they get home. Hearing your voice say “I’ve booked us breakfast on Sunday” gives them a little piece of Christmas to come back to.
9. Leave a January date under the tree
December has a habit of filling up before you notice. Give yourselves something on the other side of it. Each of you writes down a date you’d like the other person to organise. Keep the idea small enough to pull off and specific enough that your partner knows where to start.
“Take me back to the beach where we had our first swim together” works better than “Let’s go away sometime.” So does “Please make those pancakes you made the morning we moved in.” Fold the notes, swap them under the tree and pick a day before the evening ends.
If one of you usually handles all the planning, this is a chance to change that. Whoever takes the invitation sorts the practical bits, whether that means checking the café’s hours, buying pancake ingredients or packing the beach towels. Part of the gift is getting to turn up and enjoy it.
A Christmas tradition that belongs to the two of you
Years from now, you might struggle to remember what you bought each other this Christmas. You’ll probably remember sitting on the verandah when the rain started, trying to save the last two chips. Or the song your partner picked because it was playing the first time they drove home thinking, “I really like this person.”
That’s the part worth making room for. Choose one idea that sounds like your partner, give them a real invitation and take care of the little jobs that make it happen. If you’d like something to unwrap, you can browse Wild Fantasy’s massage oils together. If you already have dinner, a blanket and a song in mind, you’re ready.
Start with the invitation: “Friday, after work. Meet me on the verandah. I’ve got the rest.”