A Beginner-Friendly Guide for Anal Lovers

Anal sex has moved from taboo to mainstream, with more couples and singles exploring it as part of their sex life. On that note, while it can feel incredible, it also comes with questions like ‘does anal hurt?’ or ‘how do I even start?’. The truth is, with the right approach, anal play can be pleasurable, safe and even orgasmic.

Even if you’re brand new or you’ve tried it before and it wasn’t quite what you hoped for, this easy guide covers everything you need to know. Below are 10 practical, expert-approved anal sex tips to make the experience smoother, safer and way more enjoyable.


1. Start with Relaxation

The number one rule of anal play is relaxation. Your anal muscles naturally tighten when you’re nervous, which can make penetration uncomfortable. Take your time: focus on deep breathing, dim the lights, and you can even use a gentle anal relax cream to help ease tension. A calm, unhurried mindset makes the biggest difference.


2. Choose the Right Lube

Unlike vaginal sex, the anus doesn’t self-lubricate, so lube isn’t optional; it’s essential. A water-based lube (shop here) is great for use with toys and condoms, while silicone-based lubes last longer and are great for extended sessions. Flavoured lubes (try these) can also make oral-to-anal play more fun. There are also specific anal lubes available to make anal sex more comfortable. Anal lubes are usually thicker and last longer before drying out. Whichever lube you use, be sure to apply plenty and reapply often.


3. Warm Up with Foreplay

Jumping straight into anal sex is not always fun. So start slow with kissing, oral or toy play. Rimming, using fingers, or trying a small butt plug helps your body relax and makes the experience feel better. It also gets you mentally ready.


4. Use Anal Training Toys

If you’re a beginner, do not skip this step. Anal training kits and butt plugs are much needed for you to start small and comfortably work your way up the ladder. Let us think of it as teaching your muscles to adjust gradually for the big thing. By following this process, you can amp up your confidence and make penetration feel natural instead of overwhelming.


5. You Have To Communicate Clearly

The sexiest tip of all? Communication. Talk with your partner about what feels good, what doesn’t and when you need to pause. You can agree with your sex partner on a safe word to use if you’re scared. Clear conversation builds trust and makes the whole experience better. This makes both partners feel more connected and relaxed.


6. Go Slow and Gentle

When learning how to do anal intercourse, speed is not your friend. Start with shallow, slow movements and let the receiving partner guide the pace. Your body needs time to adjust. Going slow can prevent pain and make things feel better.


7. Try Out Different Positions

Some positions make anal sex easier than others. For anal intercourse, beginners typically find that spooning or being on top is the most comfortable. This is because there is more control in these sex positions. You can try missionary or doggie style for more hardcore penetration after you’ve gained experience. You can also play around with different poses till you find what your body responds to the most.


8. Remember Condoms & Hygiene Are Essentials 

Always use condoms to prevent infections and to make cleanup easier because unprepared anal sex can be messy. You can try using an anal douche to prepare if you want more comfort. A quick rinse will help you feel cleaner and more anal confident.


9. Partnered Up with Clitoral or P-Spot Gadgets 

This is usually where the real crazy, mind-blowing happens. While anal play alone can feel amazing, it gets even more orgasmic if you combine it with other sweet spots stimulation.

  • For women: Pair anal penetration with direct or indirect clitoral stimulation. A clitoral suction vibrator can make anal play much more intense by giving double the pleasure.

  • For men: Anal penetration stimulates the prostate, often called the P-spot. Using fingers, prostate toys, or pairing anal with a male masturbator can trigger superb orgasms unlike anything else.

This difference is why anal play can be very enjoyable for both sexes; men can enjoy full-body climaxes via the prostate, while women experience increased clitoral orgasm intensity.


10. Always Listen to Your Body

The golden rule is that if it hurts, you stop. Anal sex should never feel painful. Discomfort usually means more lube, more warm-up or a slower pace is needed. You need to always respect your body’s signals because pleasure should be the focus, not endurance.


Let’s Walk Through Some Common Mistakes You Should Avoid


  • Skipping lube is one of the worst things you can do because it almost always leads to friction, which can be painful or uncomfortable.

  • Anal sex is less pleasurable if you rush into penetration without giving your body enough time to relax and adjust.

  • If you don’t take care of your cleanliness, you could feel bad about yourself or uncomfortable, and worse, you could get an infection.

  • Misunderstandings or unpleasant surprises can arise from not communicating with your partner. This is a killjoy. 


Finally, A Small Note on The Benefits of Anal Sex

Anal play doesn’t need to be frightening or awkward. It can become the most thrilling and pleasurable aspect of your sex life. And for that, you need to have the correct toys, lots of lubricant, patience and communication.  

There are more advantages to anal intercourse than just enjoyment. It creates new feelings, fosters trust between lovers, and even helps you become more conscious of your body’s reactions. 

It doesn’t matter if you’re experimenting with a partner or indulging solo. Because these anal sex tips will help you feel more relaxed, more prepared and ready to enjoy all the unique thrills anal play has to offer.

Curious to try? Check out our best-selling anal toys, vibrators, and Kegel balls to make your experience even better.