Enjoy a little wild side?
Wild Fantasy introduces you to a classy collection of bondage toys and gadgets, to experience and bring your wildest dreams to reality! But before you step into your desires, here are a few tips and tricks our experts suggest you know about BDSM. Read through our BDSM guide to BDSM Sex and understand where you stand with this powerful exchange of pleasure! Always remember to play safely and consensually.
What is BDSM?
Definition and Components
Before you step into your bold desires, you need to understand and unwind the true identity of BDSM. What is BDSM, you may think and how can I indulge in BDSM? As these are fair questions, our experts think that it is quite important for you to understand and know what BDSM is.
The full form of the BDSM acronym is Bondage and Discipline (BD), Dominance and Submission (DS), and Sadism and Masochism (SM). It refers to sex or sexual activities that are prone to involve any one or more of the components mentioned above.
Bondage refers to limited movement using handcuffs, restraints or ropes to tie the person down. Discipline in BDSM means adhering to the rules and punishing acts (for the sake of the role and is not abusive!) previously laid by the dominant partner. Dominance interprets the authority figure or dominant partner during sex in or out of the bedroom.
Submission in the BDSM context means being obedient to the dominant partner in the sexual act, by adapting to their desires. Sadism and Masochism refer to triggering pleasures by incorporating emotional or physical pain. This can be either giving or receiving!
Cultural Context
While BDSM has been accepted as an act of enthusiasm and sexual exploration (only) in the West, most countries are yet to accept it. The use of handcuffs, whips and ropes may be interpreted as porn or as a negative form of sex. In most countries, a majority of its population may accept sex to be an act being conceived. Therefore accepting BDSM as a sex technique can be a little contradictory. However, overall, BDSM has shown an increasing visibility and acceptance in popular culture and media.
What is Consent in BDSM?
The Foundation of BDSM
Remember that all BDSM sex activities must be consensual, negotiated, and agreed upon by all parties involved. If practised well, it can be an interesting notion for most couples to enjoy a little role play and sexual enthusiasm. It can be re-enacting a part of your favourite character so simply being a little in control. No matter what you choose to do, remember that there is a fine line between BDSM for fun and abusive BDSM.
Safe, Sane, and Consensual (SSC)
The safe, sane and consensual BDSM practices will keep you and your partner safe and more interested in the act while driving each other to pleasure. SSC is a common guideline used and constantly rechecked to make sure that you and your partner build intimacy, explore different pleasure avenues or even simply enjoy some healthy BDSM Tips incorporated into your lovemaking session. However, during this session, if you find any of the acts or demands a little over your initial agreement, you do have the right to withdraw at any time. That’s how BDSM can be both fun and healthy!
Risk-Aware Consensual Kink (RACK)
To further soften the blow, you can create and introduce a RACK as a framework that includes all the risks involved in this act, making it easier to gain consent from involved participants. Remember, consent cannot be skipped!
What are the Essential Terms and Concepts in BDSM?
Dominant (Dom) and Submissive (Sub)
In BDSM involving 2 partners, one is the dominant figure while the other is the submissive figure. The dominant individual is usually the one of in charge and in control of the sexual acts, and the submissive usually listens and adheres to the dominant partner. Acts like following the request of the dominant person, laying on the bottom or subjecting themselves to the dominant person’s desires are a few of the practices the submissive partner will consider. While it sounds obscene in theory, this mysterious control has let couples enjoy and explore BDSM sex differently!
Switch
This is the exchange of power in the BDSM guide. Partners can often take turns understanding and experiencing the 2 roles of submission and dominance. In a relationship, when practising BDSM, the person who chooses to switch and alternate between the Sub and the Dom role is the Switch. It’s usually done upon the content of the BDSM sex!
Safe words
BDSM safe words are incorporated to maintain a safe and healthy exploration room. BDSM can be intensive if taken in negatively. Partners can be uncomfortable and may not like it anymore. Safe words are used as boundaries to tell the other person that they are not enjoying it as they thought. As in traffic lights, BDSM incorporates colours. Red means an immediate stop, yellow means to slow down and green means to continue whatever they are doing, as the partner seems to enjoy it. This has made communication easier, and BDSM sexier over time!
What Are the Common BDSM Practices?
Bondage
Practising bondage means using restraints to hold the person down while the other engages in sex or sexual acts. This can be the use of ropes, cuffs, or other devices. The dominant partner takes over and stimulates the submissive by holding them down. Stimulation can be done orally, manually or even using sex toys. Regardless of what you decide to incorporate, remember that you must not tie your partner too harshly, restricting the blood flow. Having safety scissors can be ideal for a quick release.
Discipline
BDSM can involve some discipline as well. While these are merely for the mutual amusement of each other, they are not a regular practice within relationships. In the act of incorporating disciplinary rules, the dominant individual is usually in control. Commands like lay down, kneel down, bend over are a few subtle disciplinary implementations. These rules can be punishments in a consensual power exchange.
Impact Play
Another form of intense teasing can be impact play where the dominant partner usually uses forms of spanking, flogging, or caning to cause an impact on the other partner. This often does not cause any pain or can be a slight form of obedient correction. The safety BDSM Tip here is that vital organs are avoided. Ensure that you start lightly and build intensity gradually.
Role-Playing
Dominant and submissive partners can take turns being the master or the slave, or the teacher and the student, or even the nurse and the doctor in various scenarios. This immediately puts the partners in that role-play mode, activating one to be dominant and one to be submissive as in reality. However, remember that a clear definition of boundaries and proper, intimate aftercare for both partners is important!
Why does Communication and Negotiation work in BDSM?
Pre-Scene Negotiation
As in every healthy relationship, general lovemaking and BDSM must have their own set of preset rules that will be followed all throughout the session. These boundaries are laid to allow the partner to feel comfortable and safe within their own space. Discussing limits, desires, and boundaries before engaging in BDSM activities is quite essential.
During the Scene
Check with your partner constantly all throughout the session. While this is important to all, it is mostly important when introducing BDSM for beginners. Check with both the dominant and the submissive partner (more for the submissive), to see if they are comfortable and are still under consent!
Post-Scene Aftercare
End your BDSM session gradually by decreasing the speeds, the pressures and the kinks. Lay it down slowly and end your session with loveable energy. BDSM aftercare is when you and your partner, regardless of who is submissive or dominant, must tend to your partner’s emotional and physical needs. This can keep your sex session active, making you look forward to more the next time! Ending your BDSM sessions with cuddling, open discussions and replenishing one’s selves can be quite romantic and respectful!
Why is Safety first in BDSM?
Physical Safety
While BDSM can be thrilling, remember not to cause any physical harm to your partner when using relevant toys. Whips, handcuffs, ropes must be handled lightly, and use of sex toys like vibrators must be used gently in a pleasurable manner on the sensitive areas. Be careful with everything!
Emotional Safety
Your BDSM environment must be safe and free for you and your partner to explore different avenues of fetishes and pleasures. Make sure you start and end the session giving enough reassurance of trust in the process!
Resources and Education
Of course, additional knowledge won’t hurt. Seek out for informational resources like books, websites, and workshops and enlighten yourselves with BDSM sex and safety tips.
How can you Explore your BDSM Interests?
Start Slow
Starting slow is a massive turn-on especially when practising BDSM as a beginner. Introduce a slow pace and let the sensitivity sink in, before increasing speed, pressures and gradually exploring different aspects of BDSM sex.
Self-Reflection
To lay your own set of safe rules, you will have to involve yourself in a self-reflection session to understand your boundaries and interests. Note down the rules that you think are acceptable and the boundaries you are willing to keep. Discuss this with your partner prior to your BDSM sex session and enjoy a healthy exploration!
Experimentation
While you write down your boundaries, also keep your kinks and desires noted down to discuss with your partner. Experiment with BDSM different activities to discover what you enjoy with your partner.
Light BDSM
As a beginner interested in BDSM, you can start exploring light BDSM where you can explore with subtle actions such as hair pulling, tie or scarf bondage, furry handcuffs, spanking, eye masks and so on. These are light, and mysterious and can help you keep your BDSM sex fantasies going!
Our Concluding Note
And that summarises BDSM sex for you! As mentioned above, BDSM is a technique used for sexual pleasure in different parts of the modern world. While this is not completely accepted by most communities and cultures, its visibility increases every day.
BDSM for beginners must be grasped one step at a time, focusing on consent, communication, safety and pleasure. Using appropriate sex toys can be helpful to have a pleasurable experience. We encourage you to educate yourself constantly on the tips and tricks of BDSM!
If you are hoping to indulge in a sexy BDSM session, visit us at Wild Fantasy and check out our coolest Bondage toys for your wildest explorations!